How I work
I value who you are as a person above all else. I’m influenced by a handful of theories, but my intention is always to relate to you as another person. This means that I take a non-authoritative stance, giving priority to what you are telling me and what your experience might be. Whether it’s a belief about the world, a feeling you have, or a cultural identity you value, my goal is to support and help you make sense of what you are sharing.
I also place emphasis on how we’re working together. Do you feel you can trust me and share what’s going on in your mind? Or do you feel wary, unsure if I might judge or dismiss you? I aim to work with you to feel comfortable sharing what you need.
Lastly, I help you become aware of, understand, and engage with your thoughts and feelings. In a way, this is a form of mindfulness. Usually mindfulness practices involve focusing on the breath or body sensations. In experiential work, we apply mindfulness, enabling you to interact with the thoughts and feelings that are most present. As you learn to mindfully notice these thoughts and feelings, it’s possible to become more familiar with them and transform them, providing relief and allowing you to live the life you want. I describe this approach, Internal Family Systems, below.
Internal Family Systems
I draw significantly from Internal Family Systems therapy, known also as IFS. Rather than describing how a family works, this approach points to an internal family system of parts that exists within each of us. Our minds are made up of a variety of parts, and each part makes us feel and think certain things. You may have parts that make you feel love and joy. You may also have parts that cause distress by making you feel anxious or depressed.
The parts that cause us distress can be unpleasant and even wreak havoc on our lives. Many of us try to get rid of these parts by pushing them away or ignoring them. Unfortunately, this approach often doesn’t work. When parts feel like they are being pushed away, they can come back stronger and make our lives even harder. There is solution, however.
In addition to having a variety of parts, you also have a place in you of openness and clarity, call the Self. It’s not always easy to access this open space, but with guidance, it’s possible. By using IFS, I will help you settle into this grounded, curious place of Self. From this place, we can help you get to know the parts of you causing distress. By understanding these parts and developing a strong relationship with them, it’s possible to transform them and gain more agency. This way, instead of causing you distress, these parts can actually function in a way that works for you.